Today is more of a rambling/rant.
Serious. Last night I felt it hard. I realized how much I’ve been rude to people. How many people I’ve offended. I realized that the man of character I’m striving to be… is a disgrace.
I’m trying to remember to repeat this quote in my head, “What would the boy you were say about the man you are?”
How many of us have said we’re going to do something and now follow through with it? I’ll be the first to admit guilt. I might follow through 50% of the time. I always have an excuse. Always! What happened to getting things done no matter if your head hurts or your legs are tired or if you broke your finger.
It’s funny to think that people who have serious physical or mental issues are usually the ones who go much further than those of us born without those issues! Okay, I digress.
The point I’m making is that God is very blatantly telling me I’m royally screwing up. I had to humble myself and admit that I’m wrong, which is very difficult for me to do. I have to take responsibility for what I’ve done.
I have to repent and try again. This time without being a jerk.
Though i do not enjoy messing up, I enjoy the fact that my imperfection reminds me of just how different God is. He is Holy, perfect and separate and He, in his perfection decide that we, the unfaithful bride, were worthy of dying for… I am always blown away by that.
It’s also been awhile since I breezed through, so apologies for the delay. Your post reminded me of one I did about Jonah, (the dude and the big fish)(see http://unblacknoise.wordpress.com/2008/06/14/rebellion-it-might-work/) , which was about screwing up. I think God is bigger than our mess ups and He works His own purposes through them. For that reason, I wouldn’t be too bummed about it. However, if He has pulled you up on it, then you are doing the right thing:repent and then get right with Him. Hang in there, and know that God is bigger than screw ups. Jonah, Abraham, Paul of Tarsus, Jacob, Moses and the whole crew were screw ups. But they were God’s screw ups. That made all the difference.
I love to read your writings, which are a glimpse into your soul. You are so honest with yourself, others and most of all God. Continue your journey with God, believe me, it is a fantastic life!!